In life we are going to experience amazing moments and feelings and some other times we will experience turmoil, challenges, trauma and unpleasant feelings. We must come to accept that life is not going to be easy but we will experience more positive feelings if we develop resilience and we intend to be more solution-oriented instead of problem- oriented, focusing and ruminating about our problems.
We must ask ourselves what can we do to handle this situation better? What is it that life is trying to teach me? How can I improve myself? What goals need to be set?
By asking ourselves these questions we can develop skills to cope with life's challenges better.
Sometimes it can be challenging to shift our mindset from victim to warrior, it can take some time but with practice we can become warriors of life.
Now, this is not about positive thinking or denying your feelings.
A warrior feels her feelings, accepts them with self love and kindness, acknowledges them and thanks them for being there, but as warriors we must know when it's time to move into action and search for solutions within.
Some problems don't have solutions, like the dead of a loved one. That's a very painful and sad event.
However, we can both grieve and find ways to cope with it as best as we can, therapy, meditation, prayer, exercise, support, Journaling, etc.
As we know if we alienate, abuse alcohol or drugs, use avoidance, shut down and other destructive behaviors, we will turn into victims of the situation, thus it will turn worse and worse.
There's always healthier ways to cope with life's challenges and we must try to stay solution- oriented, dwelling on problems can be very toxic for us body, mind and soul.
Developing awareness through meditation, Journaling and therapy can be very effective so that we can be mindful of our constructive and destructive patters.
Without awareness our patterns can repeat in relationships, career, health, etc.
Awareness is key on being solution-oriented as we see things more clearly and less blurry through our life lenses.
Here are 5 tips to become a more solution- oriented person:
1.ask yourself what can I do about this problem? If nothing then ask how can I cope with this the best?
2. Bring acceptance of the present moment by meditating every day for at least 10 minutes a day.
3. Ask for help.- If you feeling overwhelmed by something do find a support group, a close friend or a therapist to help you sort out your thoughts and feelings, and to do some brainstorming together.
If you are spiritual, you can also say a prayer.
4. Less complaining - we want to be careful not to fall into the complaining mode and we want to accept that challenges happen, our words are energy and complaining lowers our vibration.
5. Gratitude- every day write 5 things that you are grateful for and focus on how it feels. This will help you shift your focus on what's going good in your life and will help diminish fear and dissatisfaction.
Being solution-oriented will empower you to take charge of your life and your relationships and can improve your quality of life, self-esteem, career, creativity, health and over all well-being.
Are you ready to do the work?